I'm feeling old. Youngest son has gone home and I miss him, of course, but it's not just that. It's the way he seems so very grown-up; the way he's changed into someone responsible, respectable, and really really nice. It's the way I look at him and see my brother...
Once upon a time I "produced" a baby boy. He was a pretty unfinished, unpolished production, and I'd never in my wildest dreams have imagined I could bring into being a man. But I worked with him, and he with me. We pushed and pulled, argued and agreed, approached too close and drew too far away. And now--yes, I know; it's far more to his credit than mine--now he's a handsome, happy young gentleman, pleasant to talk to, comfortable to be around, and steadily ready with his own plans and dreams for a future that's all his.
Meanwhile I'm reading Sage Cohen's The Productive Writer. And I'm editing Divide by Zero. And I'm wondering which of my wildest dreams said I could make these words flow into a tale worthy of the publisher who's accepted it. It's a sort of finished, sort of polished production. It's full of characters who push and pull, argue and agree (mostly argue) with me, approach too close (too many words) and draw too far away (those missing scenes). So maybe soon--more to their credit than mine--they'll fly the nest into a really published book and I'll know I won--and I'll feel old.
Sage Cohen advises I learn to work through my fears--learn to recognize and celebrate success (an offer! That's a huge success in my dreams). Okay, so I'll open the page and feel young enough to write. I'll practice those simple little things that get my brain in gear. I'll probably never keep a notebook because I'll never learn to read my own scrawl, but I'll get my computer files all organized. And I'll edit and write.
Sage Cohen will be visiting this blog on Jan 3rd to tell us more. In particular she'll answer my perennial question--how did she get "there" from "here." She's even offering a free book to a randomly chosen commenter, so mark your diaries; make learning to be a productive writer one of your priorities in the new year, and don't forget to visit. Jan 3rd. Here.