Advice Ignored
When Ruby Walker was 15 going on 16,
she went from a numb, silent, miserable high school dropout to a joyous
loudmouth in one year flat. Advice I
Ignored answers the question everyone's been asking her since: What
happened?
Full of stories, honest advice, fierce
hope, and over 100 hand-inked illustrations, Advice I Ignored is an important resource for teens suffering from depression (which
has reached epidemic proportions), parents who have one, and educators who want
to help. Applicable for adults suffering too!
Today Ruby Walker is an 18-year-old college student, artist and writer. Ruby grew up in Austin, moved down to Buda (TX), dropped out of high school, earned herself full tuition to a private university, and is currently studying art at Trinity University in San Antonio. Advice I Ignored: Stories and Wisdom from a Formerly Depressed Teen is the only book on teenage mental health actually written by a teenager.
"If you are a teen struggling with
depression and anxiety, an adult working with teens, or an adult who is yet to
shake off those traumatic teenage situations, Advice I Ignored is for you." - Jo-Ann Duff, duffythewriterblog.com
Author’s Website: https://rubywalker.com/
Author’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/rubyirl
Buy links for Advice Ignored:
B&N: https://www.barnesandnoble.
Be yourself!
Excerpt from Advice I
Ignored: Stories and Lessons from a Formerly Depressed Teen
By Ruby Walker
I had a personality beyond my depression. I had a world of quirks, tendencies, and beautiful unique truths about myself to discover. Mind clouded with sadness and hatred, I didn’t always believe this. Wasn’t I just a natural pessimist? It may feel like your mental illness (and all the habits and preferences that make up its body) is the bulk of your personality.
Not
so! Not so! I have become so much since I recovered from depression. Old things
came back— how loud I am when I can find my voice, my love of birds, my love of
art. Others are new:
I
write now. I’m involved in local politics. I like to make people I don’t know
very well feel welcome at parties. I’m obsessed with cacti.
Knowing yourself is useful two ways. First off, any decision you make for yourself, whether it’s to move to a new city or just be more comfortable in your skin, will work better if it’s informed by your personal, unique attributes. Do you love to sleep in? Do you care a lot about children? Knowledge of who you are affects what you do, what will make you happy, and your success.
Second, having a positive idea of
your identity is nice on its own. Not
because it’s advantageous, but because it’s right.
Living just feels better when you are surrounded by people who are
affirming to your true, honest self. I have personal experience with this as a
member of the LGBT community: realizing that there are aspects of you that are
difficult to face in the first place is a necessary step towards
self-acceptance and self-love.
Maybe you’re the only Indian kid in
your grade, you have a disability, your friends don’t share your religion,
you’re transgender, you talk too fast, or you prefer not to talk much at all.
Everyone has something about them that makes them different from others. You
might not want to recognize that. You might want it to go away. That’s okay.
I’ve had times when I’ve sincerely
wished I could be a heterosexual. Right after I came out as a lesbian, not a
bisexual, I noticed my guy friends treating me differently. They weren’t as nice
as they used to be. They paid more attention to girls they saw as sexually
available, and I knew it was unconscious, but it still hurt. Was that all our
friendship was worth? I couldn’t change who I was, but I still ran in loops
around it, wishing I could be normal.
But what’s the point of trying to be “normal”? Really, what is it? Is anyone perfectly normal? And who sets the standard? I can’t think of a more boring aspiration. If someone hates me for some- thing I can’t change, they just aren’t my audience. I will never dull myself trying to be “normal” for them. I’ll carefully choose the people whose opinions I really care about, and for them I will be fantastic.
WHAT
I LEARNED ABOUT INSECURITIES FROM BEING GAY:
1.
I will
never get 100% of people to like me.
2.
People
are going to dislike me for parts of myself I just can’t change.
3.
I can’t
let my difference be my weak point.
4.
If I face
shame with pride, nobody can hurt me.
When all is said and done, I’m the only person on this Earth who will be present in my life every moment until my very last breath. Knowing myself deeply helps me connect to that life: through my relationships, my values, and through the face I choose to show the world. And the more I know, the more I can be sure that face is true.
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