Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Don't Fight Love

Today, with the help of www.thecadencegrp.com, I'm delighted to welcome two guests to my blog, Dr. Tony Ferretti and Dr Peter Weiss. They are the co-authors of a new and fascinating book on marriage called The Love Fight: How Achievers & Connectors Can Build a Marriage that Lasts. "Marriage matters," as one of the authors says below. And this timely book might help readers build marriages that matter in the right way. (Click on the image to find the book on Amazon, or scroll down for more information.)


The Love Fight: How Achievers & Connectors Can Build a Marriage that Lasts.

Written by Drs. Tony Ferretti, PhD and Peter Weiss, MD, The Love Fight explains how worldly, successful individuals fail at home in their intimate relationships, often from a mismatch of priorities and styles between the success-oriented 'Achievers' and their relationship-oriented 'Connector' spouses. Throughout this book, they share that there is hope for success in marriage and they provide tangible strategies to make it work.

'Career success can be associated with destruction of personal relationships,
 yet healthy relationships produce the greatest joy in life.'


It sounds a wonderful and valuable book, so here are Doctors Ferretti and Weiss to tell you more.

Thank you Sheila! – Pete and Tony


Married to an Achiever? 


Does your spouse put work first? Are the demands of his or her job always taking precedence over your needs or family needs?  Does he or she seem insensitive or maybe clueless when it comes to your emotions and desires?  Are you trying to figure out what’s up with that?  That’s why we wrote The Love Fight: How Achievers & Connectors Can Build a Marriage that Lasts.  

Truth is that we used to be those guys too, but people can and do change.  We’ve learned to be better husbands and fathers, and we’d like to help others improve their relationships.  The Love Fight explains what we’ve learned through our personal journeys and from Tony’s specialty psychology practice, which is geared towards helping high-powered professionals with relationship problems.

When worldly successful individuals fail with their family at home, it’s often from a mismatch of priorities and styles between these success-oriented “Achievers” and their more relationship-oriented “Connector” spouses.  This Achiever orientation is pretty common among physicians, attorneys, executives and entrepreneurs and can explain a lot of the relationship problems these individuals may experience.  From a personality standpoint, Achievers are typically emotionally underdeveloped while exhibiting extreme drive for success, power and control. 

This isn’t all bad; it can be a winning personality in the workday world.  The business environment is often dog-eat-dog, and the toughest, hardest working people frequently do come out on top.  Unfortunately for the Achiever, marriage and parenting operate by different rules.  When the Achiever brings his driven personality and “get it done” workday behavior style home to his family, it harms relationships.  

Of course, in The Love Fight we go into considerably more detail about the specific personality traits of Achievers and Connectors, how these might have developed in childhood, and how they might be modified now to improve marriages and family relationships.  The two most important concepts to mention here are that: 1) people can change and 2) any relationship takes effort from both parties to make it work.

It’s also important to point out that Achievers are usually mystified by Connectors and vice versa.  Neither truly “gets” the other, each may want to blame the other, but both will need to change to make their relationship work.  Sometimes they are willing; other times one or both would rather walk away while blaming the other party.  One of the chief goals in helping Achiever/Connector couples, and for our book, is to help Achievers and Connectors understand each other and understand the dynamics of the relationship itself.  With mutual understanding, forgiveness and a willingness to change, relationships are healed and strengthened.  We like that!

Honestly, marriage matters.  A lot.  Your marriage is probably your single most significant relationship and an important determinant of your general happiness and even your health.  We urge you to take it seriously.  If you’re a Connector married to an Achiever (or vice versa) The Love Fight can help. 

 About the authors:

Tony Ferretti, PhD, is a licensed psychologist specializing in helping power couples through relationship woes. For over twenty years, he has shared his expertise in psychology to help others recognize the additive nature of power, control, and success. His methods have helped thousands of clients to achieve balance in their relationships and have been recognized through the Dr. Phil show.

Peter Weiss, MD, is a physician and health care executive with a passion for helping others to physical and emotional health. From the bedside to boardroom, Dr. Weiss has seen talented friends and colleagues lose their marriages through misplaced priorities. As a high-powered professional himself, he has tempered his interpersonal style to sustain close and fulfilling relationships.


This sounds a great, timely and wise book, in this world of high-stress high-powered jobs. I hope lots of people will read it and build stronger marriages and families.


More About the book:

Are you going to fight for love or against each other? Opposites have tied the knot since the beginning of time. To explain the bond, experts have used the analogies pink and blue, Venus and Mars, or spaghetti and waffles.

In The Love Fight, Drs. Tony Ferretti and Peter Weiss address a new dichotomy: the clash between Achievers and Connectors. In studying couples with Achiever and Connector personalities, this duo illustrates how this common encounter can create a mutually satisfying relationship. Their expertise will walk you through the scrimmage between those who want to accomplish and those who want to relate. They couldn¹t be more opposite, but Drs. Tony Ferretti and Peter Weiss know how to mentor Achievers and Connectors through their differences and guide them to a marriage that lasts.

The Love Fight is a book that can help you understand your spouse and save your marriage. Its self-assessments and content based on the authors' years of experience will give you an action plan to achieve connection today.

and where to find it:



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